language translate online learning

SO i have to speak in front of my class for 2 minuets in french. I cant have note cards or cheat sheets. PLEASE GIVE ME TIPS!! also i have to have it for tomorrow. 10 POINTS
and also i need to be comfortable up there. PELASEEEEEEEEEEE HELP ASAP!!! this is a huge grade

I need help translating this “I wish that _____ will rest in peace in heaven.”
Please, this is very important for me. Native Spanish speakers only who are 100% sure. Tell me whether the phrasing is awkward or not. THANKS! <3

I don’t like hearing Hindi or Urdu (think it’s the same thing).
It sounds very coarse & unrefined to me. But that’s just me personally. (No offense if you speak those languages!)
What about you?

In research for the Flemish-language magazine Knack, journalist Jean-Paul Mulders traced Hitler’s living relatives in the Fuhrer’s native Austria, as well as the United States.
“The results of this study are surprising,” said Ronny Decorte, a geneticist interviewed by Knack. “Hitler would not have been happy.”http://www.haaretz.com/jewish-world/dna-…

Is the “wouldn’t it” set correctly in the following sentence?
1. Your car would have been of mine today if you denied that proposal, wouldn’t it?

Here’s the rules:
1) Nothing inappropriate (ex. cussing)
2) It has to be so funny that my brother falls off his chair (which CAN be pretty easy at times)
Good luck!
Here’s a joke from me:
Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others
I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign.
(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666)
For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3 16.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.
The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.
Thank you and have a heavenly day.

So I sent my friend in Italy a song on fb (Vanilla Twilight). I sent it to him cos I thought he’d like it. He translated the lyrics into Italian and said but aren’t these the words that you want to tell me? What can I say in return? He’s always flirting with me. I’m going to Italy in January!

So I sent my friend in Italy a song on fb (Vanilla Twilight). I sent it to him cos I thought he’d like it. He translated the lyrics into Italian and said but aren’t these the words that you want to tell me? What can I say in return? He’s always flirting with me. I’m going to Italy in January!

form around certain cultures?
Why is it that religions are in the same language as their respective cultures?
Why is it that they all contradict each other?
Why is it that they all claim to be the truth?
Why is it that religions have scientifically false information, yet deemed as truth?
Why is it that people say the respective “religious book” is proof of anything?
Why do people waste their life following something they don’t have proof for?
Why is it that I can not say to someone that I can give them a good afterlife without getting laughed at, while they read a book that says that? And follow it?
Virtual High-5 if you get what I’m getting at.

If you don`t have enough time to get me vote for your answer as best , just tell me so so what it`s about

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/822/thefuckthismeans.jpg/